![]() Reply “Solved!” to the first correct answer If you have replied with the same thing as someone else did earlier, you should delete your comment.Ĥ. The OP does not need to be overwhelmed with multiple suggestions of the same thing. Do not repeat something already suggested. Do not use URL shorteners, Tumblr, or partner links, these are all automatically removed.ģ. Include a description of what you are linking to in case the link breaks. No arbitrary link titles (How to answer including a link) Be civil and respectful to each other.Īct in good faith on this subreddit, posts and answers. You can also modify the search by adding keywords to the search bar.īEFORE POSTING HERE, PLEASE READ THIS GUIDE on how to find what you need using regular means! Subreddit Rulesġ. NOTE: To mark your submissions solved reply "Solved!" to the oldest comment with the answer. New to reddit? Check out this tutorial on how to post successfully to this sub. Read the rules and suggestions for tips on how to get the most out of TOMT. Submit a Question Submit NSFW Join TOMT Discord for live discussion Please read the FAQ before posting!Ĭan't remember the name of that movie you saw when you were a kid? Or the name of that video game you had for Game Gear? This is the place to get help. But there’s a lot you can do to be an active participant in the story-so get started today.Reply Solved! to the comment that answers your post. You may learn a lot, and if they promise to start working on themselves, hey-that’s a good sign that things might be moving in the right direction.īeing in an on-again, off-again relationship with someone who just can’t commit can be incredibly confusing and anxiety-inducing, and often it can feel there’s no end in sight-certainly not a happily ever after one. Holding onto hope that someone will change is a slippery slope-especially if you haven’t yet had an open, honest conversation with the other person. ![]() Participating can help you figure out how to extract yourself in a way that feels healthy and empowering. Therapy is an excellent way to sort through any complicated feelings you may have around relationships. And according to Carroll, continuing to participate in it can signal that you still have some issues of your own to work out. There’s no doubt that being in a situation like this can be extremely taxing. Talk to a therapist or another mental-health professional “Am I holding on to a fantasy?"īy prioritizing yourself and your own happiness, you'll be more equipped to make great choices. “Ask yourself, what am I doing to myself by being in this?” Carroll says. So if you’re in a tough situation like this one, start by treating yourself with more compassion (and, really, always work to treat yourself with more compassion). Someone once told me that if I spoke to others the way I speak to myself, I probably wouldn’t have many if any friends. Ask yourself why you aren’t treating yourself with more compassion ![]() Once you can understand this POV, the other person and the situation you're in together may automatically become less attractive to you. So let's say you're the other person: If you see someone as disposable and are willing to let them go, it may mean you don’t have it in you to give your whole heart to them. This person will probably need to look at how they learned about love they were younger-there’s probably a lot there.” This person won’t be able to be in a healthy relationship until he or she does some work on their own, like talking through childhood issues with a therapist. “This is usually a statement about his or her connection issues more than anything else. “If he or she she says they don’t want the relationship, but they just can’t seem to let you go, there’s something much bigger going on here,” Carroll says. “If he or she she says they don’t want the relationship, but they just can’t seem to let you go, there’s something much bigger going on here.” -Linda Carroll, LMFT But according to relationship expert Linda Carroll, LMFT, it almost always has to do with the other person, and their own issues with connection. Somehow when those words leave the mouth of the person speaking them, they shape-shift from their original meaning into you hearing that you're not smart enough, attractive enough, funny enough…the list goes on and on. When someone says they don’t want to be in a relationship, it’s easy to take the statement personally. Why does he keep coming back if he doesn't want a relationship? Here's a deep dive into the mixed signals: 1. So, what’s with these mixed signals, anyway? Let’s take a closer look at what could be going on-and what to do about it.
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